Fuck Off! Why You Need More Conflict In Your Life

History is littered with conflict.

Conflicts of nations especially.

Some of these conflicts were resolved peacefully — like Gandhi bringing about India's liberation from the British Empire.

Most conflicts though, are not resolved peacefully. Instead they are solved with the brutest of force.

In the infamous word of 19th century Prussian Minister President Otto Van Bismarck, most conflicts are resolved with Blood and Iron.

This was true in the Napoleonic Wars, and it is true today.

Conflict though, are not reserved for sovereign nations.

We all encounter conflict every day.

Conflicts with our partner, our friends and especially our co-workers.

If I don’t butt heads with at least one colleague during a typical work-day, my day has not been productive.

See, the thing about conflict, is that it makes us grow.

It makes us better, because we realize what we’re lacking. Where we’re lacking.

We realize where we might be at fault, and it gives us a chance to improve ourselves.

Germany in its present state has never been stronger than it is.

But the road that has transformed them from a rather lethargic country in the middle of Europe to a major player in the global power-game is paved with the bricks of the biggest conflict the world has ever seen — World War II.

When Allied troops took Berlin, that could have been the end of Germany. Instead, it provided a new beginning. A beginning that eventually led them to becoming the financial and political center of Europe. As well as one of the most prosperous nations in the world.

What is true of Germany is true of individuals.

If you want to grow as a person, you need to engage in conflicts.

If you want to move yourself from one state of mind to another, you must engage in conflicts with yourself and overcome the obstacles that present themselves along the way.

If you want to move up at work, you have to engage in conflicts with the people around you. Not necessarily violent conflicts, but conflicts where a problem is resolved and you emerge as the victor.

Conflict brings catharsis.

Resolution.

Strength.

Empowerment.

It is the only way to grow.

But people shy away from conflict because it is painful.

Yes, it is painful, but if you want to grow as a person there is no way around it.

You must embrace that pain, accept it as a fact of life, and engage in every conflict that presents itself and embrace it as an opportunity to learn. To grow.

Otherwise you will be stuck in the same old rut.

You must be able to learn how to tell people to fuck off.

If you don’t, others are going to walk all over you.

People who are better at engaging in conflict than you are, are going to get ahead of you.

Don’t let this happen to you.

Learn how to engage in conflict.

Learn how to use it to spur you forward.

Because you are not going to be able to learn and grow without it.