What Everyone Gets Wrong About Success and How to Fix It
There is so much material out there about being successful. More than you could ever read in a lifetime. But how do we define success? Is it having a lot of money? Is it building a huge company from the bottom up? Is it climbing the corporate ladder, working 80 hour weeks until you drop dead from a hard attack?
If you’ve read any of my previous articles, you know that I’m hugely ambitious, and care about success and being successful.
What success is however, depends on how you define it.
I’d bet that for most people it is connected to wealth, fame and status symbols such as fast cars and expensive watches. There is nothing wrong with that. I’ve written about success extensively — here, here and here — and I consider the subject both deeply fascinating and highly important.
Be that as it may, I’ve comes to realize that this idea is slightly off kilter. There is something that more important in life than the classic idea of success — fame, fortune fast cars and faster women.
Success and Lack of Balance
So I’m here to propose something different. An idea that might seem foreign to you, but I think that you will find it an interesting idea when you mull it over.
We all know that success comes at a cost. The most conventionally successful people are rarely very balanced individuals. Elon Musk for instance is (in)famous for working 100 hour weeks 7 days a week. While I have the utmost respect for the guy and I appreciate everything he is doing for mankind and he has all the riches in the world, I’d never trade places with him.
The reason is, that my definition of success is very different from his. My definition of success is not related to amassing the biggest possible fortune.
My idea of success is related to having the best possible life.
I don’t want to optimize based on one or two criteria. I don’t want to move ahead in my career at the expense of everything else in my life. I don’t want to compromise my relationship with my fiancee whom I love very much, and I don’t wish to scale down the amount of quality time I have with friends, who I also love dearly.
Instead I want to optimize around being a loving husband, a great friend, a decent colleague who gets things done, but not someone who works 80 hours a week.
I want to be in shape — mentally and physically. I want to be able to take the time to exercise, meditate and journal.
I want to be a fairly good — to great writer (in time).
And I most definitely want to be a caring father who is there for his kids (when they start arriving).
This is my idea of the good life.
A life where I get to do many of the things I love, without compromising who I am.
The fact that this is not compatible with conventional success is fine by me. I don’t look at the corporate CEO’s who make millions or entrepreneurs who make billions and think “Gosh, if only that was me!”
I don’t wish it was me. Because I know how much they’ve sacrificed to get there. How many anniversaries they’ve missed. How many extra hours they’ve spent in the office that they could’ve spent with their kids instead. I wouldn’t trade places with them for all the money in the world. I don’t want to pay the price for that type of success because I don’t want it.
Even though these people have all the money they could ever need I would never wish to be them.
The Good Life
Now that I’ve told you what I don’t want, let me tell you what my idea of The Good Life is. My idea of The Good Life is to live freely — meaning that I am the master of my own time. Meaning that I have enough money to live, but above all that I have freedom. That I can get to spend time with my loved ones, and that I can make a living doing something I love. Make a good living from writing and inspiring people. Help others to overcome obstacles and make positive changes in their lives.
That is what matters to me.
That is what I strive towards.
Conventional success in my eyes is not worth it.
The price is too steep.
Let me if you agree in the comments.
